Uncategorized
Gore captures Nobel Jackass Prize
Al Gore has captured the first ever Nobel Jackass prize. Instead of a large cash award, this particular award carries with it an even greater honour: Gore will receive a sack full of his weight in horse manure. Bill Clinton, reached for comment on his “Everyone Has AIDS” tour, said “That would be one big pile of crap”.
Wait, I read the story incorrectly. It seems Gore has won the coveted “peace prize”. A member of the committee explained:
We gave him the peace prize because he quit in 2000. Had he won the presidency, his administration would no doubt have launched post-9/11 attacks on half the nations in Africa, Burma, as well as most of the Middle-East, resulting in millions of deaths. We think it’s great that he had the humility not to inflict himself on the world.
Next week: George W. Bush captures the Nobel prize for Physics, after it is discovered he has displayed a form of galactic wrongheadedness never before encountered.
Tags: Discussion
12 Comments
Leave a Reply
Buy Scott's Stickers
Social Bookmarks
How lame Ozy. I suppose you think there is not one bit of evidence in the world of man negatively affecting the environment. Have you ever seen one of those rivers that has no fish and priodically catches fire because of all the shit dumped in it? I have.
“I suppose you think there is not one bit of evidence in the world of man negatively affecting the environment.”
Yes, that is exactly what I said. Exactly.
…Ozzie’s right, had Gore won the Presidency that’s just what he would have done…Subsequently, in terms of quality he’s little if any better than Bush…Truth is: Al Gore is a tired ass individual…also bear in mind the fact he’s not a Scientist, nor a Computer Engineer—But a Politician, and as I’ve said before not a very good one at that—Even his successful Bandwagon exploitation of Environmental issues to compensate his utter lack of Public Appeal won’t put his dull wooden ass into power…I mean for Christ sake, even Bush won the debates against him in 2000…and if you can’t handle Bush in terms of canned TV rhetoric for public consumption? Well, shit…ya oughta pack it in and go stand in front of a Cigar Store.
Al Gore is an accessory to nearly a million murders by the Clinton government in the 1990s. Nobel Peace Prize? It should be called the democrats’ favorite Democrat.
“We have a goal of regime change in Iraq, we have had for a number of years.” - Al Gore
“[E]ven though a new United Nations resolution might be helpful in the effort to forge an international consensus, I think it’s abundantly clear that the existing U.N. resolutions passed 11 years ago are completely sufficient from a legal standpoint so long as it is clear that Saddam Hussein is in breach of the agreements made at the conclusion of the Persian Gulf War.” - Al Gore
“Back in 1991, I was one of a handful of Democrats in the United States Senate to vote in favor of the resolution endorsing the Persian Gulf War. And I felt betrayed by the first Bush administration’s hasty departure from the battlefield.” -Al Gore
Gore is fat too. Let’s not lose sight of the BIG picture. Get it? The big FAT picture… Ha ha ha ha! No, but seriously, the best thing about this is that it’s a good reminder of what utterly boring, humorless socialist drips the Norwegians are. Everyone who makes it in Norway gets out of there and moves to London, Spain, or the US– anywhere but that dark, miserable country. Ha ha ha, Al Gore, Nobel Laureate. All for his nutty little Powerpoint show! Norway doesn’t even know the joke’s on them!
Draft Gore…….to Afghanistan.
Hey, lets not be too hard on algore. After all, he did invent the Internet and look at how the Internet is facilitating Dr. Paul’s campaign!
My elders always told me that the nuts don’t fall too far from the trees:
http://www.aim.org/media_monitor/A3160_0_2_0_C/
Al Gore’s ambitions fit perfectly into my plan. He is facilitating massive increases in my holdings of impreial credits, and not merely in the Spice Mines of Kessel.