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If Elected, Edwards Promises to Destroy the Country

No, really. Here’s his platform, according to a news story:

higher taxes for the highest income earners or would require tough energy conservation standards to wean the country off its dependence on foreign oil while dealing with global climate change.

He said his universal health-care proposals would take power in the health-care sector away from health insurance and pharmaceutical companies. He also called for more subsidized housing and rejected privatization proposals to help save Social Security.

“I don’t believe in privatization. I don’t believe in raising the retirement age or in cutting benefits. We need to find a new revenue stream,” he said. He has proposed raising the Social Security wage earner cap to far above its current $90,000 level.

His energy policy precluded nuclear power and would penalize corporate polluters with heavy fines — producing revenues that would be reinvested into aggressive renewable energy research and programs.

So, an Edwards presidency would involve a complete takeover by the government of the lives of all Americans, from cradle to grave. The reason is that obviously humans are incapable of caring for and planning for themselves. As the industries Edwards plans on taking over become cartelized, unionized, and monopolized (which they desperately want and hope for) and it raises the cost of living for everyone, and the quality of service drops to unimaginably poor levels, the resulting America would resemble this:

The Onion’s take.

© 2007 Stress.